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When people hear that I’ve lived abroad, they assumed that meant I was on some kind of 24/7 jaunt around the city, in a perpetual state of travel and enjoyment, failing to acknowledge the fact that I worked, paid rent, and spent more time than was probably healthy sat in bed on my laptop (what’s new?).
But it’s not really their fault for thinking that. I don’t post photos of my Maruchan on Instagram after all.
And just like people who heard I lived abroad had their expectations of what that entailed, I had mine. In fact, there were many things I expected of living abroad in Mexico, and there were many realities I actually faced.
If you’re reading this, you (maybe) know, you’ve (probably) been there. Or, if you’re reading this because you want to live abroad, well…buckle in for some home truths, friend, and indulge my witty observations.
Because, and after a little reflection on my naïve innocence when I first moved to Mexico at the tender age of 19 (yes, really, it seems wild to me too), I’m about to be hilarious about the expectations vs. the realities of living abroad. In Mexico. As a human woman.*
*Just covering my bases for when someone inevitably comments that my experiences don’t represent theirs. Yeah, no shit, old white man?
THE TRUTH ABOUT LIVING ABROAD
EXPECTATION | I’LL MAKE FRIENDS
I’m going to be a Working Woman, you tell yourself, imagining a life where you willingly wear work trousers instead of, oh, I don’t know, pyjamas, every single day.
Also, I am a riot to be around, you add. Fun (mostly)! Intelligent (I graduated?)! Definitely totally informed on everything about which I spout my valuable opinion (lol, no)!
I even speak the goddamn language. How could I not make friends?
You of course are forgetting all the times you failed to make friends as a teenager. In your home country. Surrounded by people who share the same cultural references.
REALITY | YOU’LL MAKE NO FRIENDS
Ugh, Debbie Downer, amirite? Well, suck it up because it’s true. Sure, you work-with-a-capital-W, but you work from home. You have only your weird neighbours for company on a daily basis and you don’t even know their names. In fact, you’re not even sure they exist.
Of course, eventually you’ll make some friends (not before joining a Catalan language class which consists of just two other people in a vain, but ultimately fruitless, effort to socialise). It will just take time.
EXPECTATION | I’LL BE SO PRODUCTIVE AT WORK
There’s nothing like the smoggy air of Mexico City in my lungs to get me pumped for a hard day’s work and I’ll for sure be done and ready to call it a night by 6pm, you think, opening up your laptop on day zero of living in your new home and browsing Amazon aimlessly for an hour while your cup of tea goes cold. So productive.
Here, let me walk you through what I expected from a day in my living abroad life:
6am: Wake up refreshed and feeling like new after a great night sleep.
6.30am: Engage in some light yoga and drink a well brewed coffee with very little sugar, because, health.
7am: Sit down at your desk and enjoy a brief spell of replying to emails.
8am: Get started on a productive, snack-food free few hours or so working on some truly revolutionary articles/blog posts/contracts/whatever it is you do as a job.
9am: Hop on the metro and make your way to work on the metro with no delays, no attempted gropings and without developing a layer of inexplicable grime all over your body. Even the parts that are clothed.
REALITY | YOU’LL BE THE SAME AS YOU ALWAYS WERE
Newsflash: Moving abroad does not change you fundamentally as a person. If anything, it just exacerbates everything that’s always been terrible about you, because now you have no friends (see above) to call you out on it. So, if you love going to the gym and eating salads, you’ll probably do the same in a new country. Likewise, if you’re having a love affair with Netflix it looks set to only become more passionate.
And, if you meet someone who tells you that living abroad has like, totally changed them, dude, they’re obviously hiding a very deep, dark secret and you should tread lightly.
And here’s the reality:
6am: Get woken up by bin men noisily emptying the bins, turn off the first (and next seven) of your alarms and go back to sleep.
6.30am: Yoga? Lol, you’re still asleep.
7am: You’re still asleep.
8am: Wake up after sleeping through 15 different alarms because the fucking police patrol cars were flashing their lights outside your window until the early hours.
8.30am: Feel groggy af and chug a massively over-sugared coffee that provokes light to medium spells of nausea. Inhale last night’s leftover pizza.
9am: Load up good ol’ Netflix, because you can’t be fucked with work today. You’re a trash human.
EXPECTATION | MY EVERY WORD WILL TRANSLATE AS I WANT IT TO
I speak the language, I see no reason why I won’t be understood and/ or hilariously witty right off the bat when I move abroad. It’s not like language has nuance and hilarity requires timing…right?!
REALITY | NO ONE THINKS YOU’RE FUNNY HERE
You are not funny to anyone here. For a start, your (kind of borderline as it is) sense of humour is not one that’s appreciated in your new country, nor do sarcastic jokes about wanting to die have the same uproarious effect as when you’re with your friends (you still don’t have any of those yet, by the way). Plus, your timings all wrong because you still haven’t mastered the ol’ simultaneous translation yet, so all your comebacks are five minutes too late. And you wouldn’t dare say them out loud for fear you’d misconjugated a subjunctive anyway. So, there’s that.
EXPECTATION | I’LL LIVE FOR THE STREET FOOD
Yes! I will never need to cook again (true, for what it’s worth), because I can eat tacos all day, erry day, no problem. I live for chili after all, and I don’t see how copious amounts of fried masa products and 70% daily sugar allowance Mexican Coke will negatively affect me in any way.
Related Post: 33 Popular Mexican Foods to Eat in Puebla, Mexico
REALITY | I NEED PROBIOTICS
You poo three times more than you did before (and not in a good ‘I’ve been eating lots of fibre’ way), yet you’ve still put on a stone in weight.
(OK, this one is perhaps the only one that didn’t happen to me. First time round, in Guadalajara, I lived off quesadillas and got super skinny. Second time round, I lived off quesadillas and…did not get super skinny. Either way, this can be a truly terrifying reality when you move somewhere with entirely new food and what seems to be a chili fetish.)
EXPECTATION | I’LL BE A CULTURE VULTURE BY THE END OF WEEK ONE
I’m going to live in the Big Apple/ the home of the Eiffel Tower/ the land of the Romans (delete as appropriate), so naturally I’ll be cultured af by the end of my first week museum hopping and latte sipping, your brain gleefully and wilfully lies to you as you’re preparing to go live abroad for the first time.
Related Post: Must-Read Books About Mexico
REALITY | YOU’VE VISITED EXACTLY ZERO MUSEUMS
Remember that thing about living abroad not fundamentally changing you as a person? Yeah, you hate museums, who were you kidding?! Instead, you spend your first week wondering why you packed that going out top from four years ago you wore once, but didn’t think to bring more than two pairs of socks (true story).
OK, you do sip some coffee though, except it’s from the convenience store because you haven’t figured out where anything is yet.
Related Post: These are All the Free Museums in Mexico City
EXPECTATION | I’LL LOVE IT
REALITY | YOU HATE IT
Oh, no(t for long, I promise).
Did you enjoy this post? Pay me for your laughter! I’m just kidding. Sort of. But here’s my Paypal donate button if you’re keen to help keep this blog up and running. (I won’t judge if you skip it.)
And if you’re absolutely convinced that living abroad is the right option for you, head to my posts about living in Mexico City, packing for a move to Mexico and things no one tells you about life in Mexico. Oh, and how not to tell your mum about your plans. Don’t forget to leave me a comment below if you have any (positive) feedback or questions!